I didn't know what I was getting into about 3.5 yrs ago when I decided to quit drinking and be sober. I was just at a point where I knew it was what I needed to do. I had no idea it was the beginning of a journey in falling in love with myself. I could barely look at my own self in the mirror, much less feel any sort of authenticity when saying "I love myself." I had many nights of black out whiskey & wine drinking. I made poor decisions for my own well being that also impacted those around me. I wondered why the people I chose to be in friendships and relationships with continued to not treat me with respect or love. I spent a lot of time and energy frustrated about this and mad at people. I couldn’t figure out why drama always seemed to find me.
Getting sober planted a small (mustard) seed of loving myself. At that time, I just didn’t want to be hung over anymore wink emoticon Getting sober has given me the space to start loving myself. Not everyone has to get sober for this to happen, but it’s what needed to happen for my path. Looking back on these past few years, I can’t believe the changes that have come. It has not been easy. In fact, at times, it’s been downright brutal, terrifying, chaotic and agonizing - And I can say today that “I LOVE MYSELF.” It still feels a little awkward and vulnerable to say at times, but I can truly say it with my heart now.
This is the most important thing because - as they say - you have to love yourself in order to accept the love of others.
This is really true.
Like REALLY true.
As I have let love for myself slip into my life -
Drama has been etched out.
Negativity has been removed.
Disrespect is a rarity.
And I do my absolute best to make decisions of the highest vibration of love.
The relationships that weren’t serving in any way have fallen to the wayside. When we start to love ourselves, we start to surround ourselves with people who lift us rather than smother us.
I have so much more to say about this that I could probably write a book. I am still learning in each moment, how to fall deeper into this love. Because when I love me, I am much more able to love you.
How will you love yourself today?