"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen."
- Winston Churchill
When I was 19, just when I was about to fall asleep one night, this strange feeling came over me. It was terrifying. I had no idea what it was. I thought maybe it was the flu, but along with physical symptoms - my mind was going nuts. A concoction of feelings I had never before felt.
I went to the doctor and I was told that I had experienced a panic attack.
So there began my intimate dance with anxiety.
There have been long periods of time where I haven't feel any anxiety at all. Then there have been times where it is so consistently prevalent that I feel like I might burst into a million pieces. If you experience anxiety, you know what I am talking about.
In this dance, I have found many tools to use when I feel anxiety tapping on my shoulder (EFT, meditation, yoga, eating healthy, energy work, etc..). If you have any questions about these, I’m here!
I have been told by just a few people that I have no reason to be anxious because of my life's circumstances. I have been laughed at (only a couple of times) for experiencing anxiety (and depression) and it hurt. But mostly I have been embraced, comforted and validated. This is major… With any mental-health issue. Validation is so crucial.
From my experience I have found that there is circumstantial anxiety and then there is anxiety that just chooses to show up while someone is grocery shopping, driving, sitting at home or doing other mundane activities. No matter the cause, the feeling is real in the moment one is experiencing it.
So please(!), if you are experiencing anxiety reach out to someone you trust (or a therapist) and allow them to be there for you. And if you know anyone who experiences anxiety (or depression), let them know you’re there to listen (and/or find them the help they need). This is not to dive down a worm hole, but to face and acknowledge it with courage.
Anxiety has taught me how to care for myself in a way I never knew before. Anxiety has helped me see that I needed to change direction or negative habits in my life. It has brought me to such a low place that now the light is that much stronger. It has given me the honor of being there when any of my brothers or sisters of the world are in it - because I understand it.
It’s a strange phenomenon. Something that can leave me feeling so separate has been a true catalyst for connection with others.
How beautiful is that?!
The major life changing thing for me was finding that I just needed to TALK ABOUT IT. Seriously. It’s that simple. I started talking about it.
Has it completely gone away? No.
Will it visit from time to time throughout the rest of my life? Probably.
Talking about it has allowed me to accept it and feel more freedom from it. Of course, in the beginning it was important for me to have discretion on how I shared and with whom I shared. But now, I’m out of the closet ;) I actually enjoy talking about it. It’s like the elephant in the room that everyone relates to, but doesn’t want to face.
Embrace the anxiety elephant!
The more we see and welcome it as a teacher, the less space it will take up in these beautiful lives we all have!
Go on with your courageous lion heart.
You are blessed and you are a blessing.
With love and anxiety ;)
As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence actually liberates others.
- Marianne Williamson
I am sharing something that feels quite personal, but just like the other things I talk about, I have a feeling it will be healing for me and perhaps for others. I'm not attached, I just get an inspiration and if I don't share - It bubbles up inside and screams until I let it out ;)
I am a single, 31 year old woman. There's this thing that people call the biological clock... It started to kick in at about 29 for me. And I'm finally feeling enough peace around it to share.
If you are single (or not) and feeling this even slightly, here's what I want to tell you. I hope you really read these words over and over until they reach the cells of your entire being...
You are good enough.
You are worthy of love.
You have so much beauty about you.
There is nothing wrong with you.
You are capable of being loved.
You are capable of loving.
You are never truly alone.
You do not need to settle.
You are courageous.
You are strong.
You have so much to offer.
You are in the exact place you need to be.
You are likely preparing for a partner, who is likely also preparing for you...
I have felt so much societal pressure to be in a relationship... Even to be married, have kids and lead a more domesticated life. What I realize and take responsibility for is that, the only way this pressure can affect me is if I allow it to. And the only way I allow it to is when I start to believe other people's truths over my own.
What I do know is that my intuition will never, ever steer me wrong. My intuition comes from the depth of my heart and that is where truth resides. I am learning that I don't need to be in a relationship to feel good enough or loved. I don't need the approval of anyone (either from someone I'm dating or my family or society). I can stand as a powerful, courageous, nurturing woman in my light. I can know that when a man choosing to stand in his own light comes along, I will not be inclined to dim my light and I will be inspired to break down whatever walls I have built. It certainly won't be easy, but I will know when it's worth it.
I don't want anyone to complete me. I have worked too hard on coming into my own wholeness and I'm not willing to sacrifice that honoring of and dedication to myself. I would much rather be single than share a life with someone where we find ourselves not honoring, loving or respecting each other in the way that we need.
I have never written about this publicly, and I'm not gonna lie, it feels quite vulnerable, but I believe it's important. There is absolutely no shame in being single. If it is your path right now, whatever age you may be, it's a beautiful way to get to know yourself and fall in love with the intricacies of your own being. I'm so proud of myself for not jumping impulsively from relationship to relationship anymore. I am proud of myself for honoring this sacred space for growth, self-love, exploration, courage and depth. Being in a relationship with someone where our souls meet on this level will only enhance this depth and push me to grow in ways I might not be able to on my own.
I am a work in progress, coming into more and more light, and always will be - Just like all my fellow brothers and sisters!
Let's just love ourselves and see where the path leads with a curious and courageous lion heart...
You are blessed and you are a blessing.
So much love.